according.to.kim

Many changes

We decided to move Madeline out of her crib and into the 'puppy' toddler bed yesterday. I was a little worried that she wouldn't want to give up her crib so thought it would be better to make that change before she got even more attached to it. As it turns out, Madeline adapted very well and didn't complain at all. Sophia was upset about it though because the puppy bed was hers until last August. At bedtime, Madeline laid still in her new bed and didn't even try to get out! She went to sleep as quietly and easily as ever. I think she sort of fell out of bed this morning though, but at least the bed is quite low.

Another upcoming change for Madeline is potty training. I'm planning to put some effort into it this month. She displays all signs of being ready, but hasn't quite figured out the part about going to the toilet first. Lately, she's been running to the bathroom shortly after using her diaper or pull-up. Sharon thinks Madeline is ready too and is prepared to help Madeline because none of the other children are in training right now.

Changes are on the horizon for Sophia too. She has become very interested in words. She likes to talk about and look specifically at the words in books. At the beginning of a DVD, she wants us to show her which word is "Play". Yesterday, she wanted to write a shopping list in her notebook, so we spelled words out for her and she tried to print the letters. I think she will likely read before kindergarten which is still 18 months away for her.

Sophia will begin another chapter soon (and so will we, now that I think about it!): participation in sports. Registration for the outdoor soccer league (May 2 - June 25) is tomorrow night and we're planning to sign her up. It's co-ed recreational and Sophia will actually be in the second age group (I didn't even realize there was soccer for three year olds). I think she'll like and benefit from this type of physical activity. We're lucky to have a very nice soccer pitch just half a block from our house, so I'm hoping they'll play here. I haven't had Sophia in any activities other than preschool for a year now, so it's probably time. I don't want to over do it though.

Last but not least, Sophia has gone to bed early and easily six nights in a row. I sure hope that change is here to stay!

The weekend

On Friday, Neil and I buckled down and made the play table for Sophia and Madeline that we'd been planning to make for a few months. I'm pleased with the result. Aside from needing more paint (the white is just primer), it's basically ready for use. The octagonal shape was inspired by a train set we saw at Costco, but we designed a completely different base. We constructed one long rectangular box and two smaller boxes that butt up to the sides of the large rectangle. The top is upholstered and removable. It didn't occur to me before we built the table, but I think the kids could sit at the table on chairs. That may work well for playing games, but perhaps the surface is too large (it's 49" across).

On Saturday, we went to Yellow Grass to visit my parents and my brother and his family. It was a pretty relaxing day for me, and so nice to see everyone. I was especially happy to be able to visit Mom and Dad before they go on their well-deserved vacation.

On Sunday, we did quite a bit of housework as a matter of necessity. The house was a terrible mess after a few days of neglect, and there were 11 loads of laundry. We did manage to sit and watch the Academy Awards in the evening.

Good sleeps

Sophia slept for 10.5 hours straight without waking up! When she woke up--on her own--she was cheerful and eager to get up! (I will have to be careful not to sound smug today when I tell Sharon what a good night Sophia had.)

I actually slept for six hours straight without anyone waking me up, and I woke up on my own too!

Wow. After a great night of sleep, today is lookin' good!

P.S. Happy Birthday Mom!!!

A list of goodness

I'm trying to think of good things that have happened this week in an attempt to improve my current state-of-mind:

• Everyone at work received a free 1 lb. bag of Golden Roasted Flax Seed from CanMar Grain Products because they just opened a brand new processing facility right next to my office building. I was already a fan of this product, so I'm delighted to receive this.
• I'm going to a Stampin' Up! party at a friend's house this evening (should be the last one for awhile).
• I played volleyball two evenings this week and we won all eight games! Very rare.
• I'm taking tomorrow off as my "Floating Holiday". (All SaskTel employees are entitled to take an extra day off any day after Feb 21.)
• We're going to Yellow Grass on Saturday and I'm looking forward to seeing my family. It's been too long.
• The sun is shining and it's beautiful outside (about minus 4 C).
• Our new manager was appointed and it was a person from my group. I haven't been able to hand off my really undesirable work yet, but I really like Brian and am pleased not to have to 'train' a complete stranger!
• I heard a rumor this week--in a very positive and complimentary way--that I said I was interested in taking over our youth website (formerly Brian's baby, but he has to relinquish that duty now that he's the manager). Funny thing is... I didn't say that, but I am interested.
• I bought some great new pants for work on Monday, so I can get rid of some old ones that have seen much much better days.
• I love the way that Madeline emphatically says "Mommay!"
• I am pleased that Sophia had 10.5 hours of sleep last night.

Ah, yes, that does feel better.

Difficult day

Today almost made me sick. After work, I had another long and difficult conversation with Sharon and her mother who very often helps with the children. I said I know this is frustrating for everyone and I want to work together to solve this. We talked for close to an hour, but I don't think we really resolved anything. Sharon seemed close to tears at one point. She doesn't seem to know what to do with Sophia when the little ones are sleeping and the other older children are reading or playing quietly. She also questioned me constantly on what we are doing with Sophia in the evenings and how we handle tantrums. I got the distinct impression that she thinks we're doing something that causes Sophia to have tantrums and stay awake for so long at night. I told her we do the same thing every night, and there is one thing that makes a difference between Sophia going to sleep and not going to sleep and that is napping.

Anyhow, it was a lousy day. Thank goodness for volleyball this evening. We played four games tonight and I pounded the ball, I blocked, I hit from back-row, and I didn't miss a serve, and it felt great! I needed that. Meanwhile, Neil put the girls to bed and Sophia was asleep at 7:58 p.m. I'm certainly not looking forward to going to Sharon's house in the morning, but at least Sophia will have had a good night's sleep and I can only hope she won't be miserable tomorrow. Neil bought a nice dry-erase activity book for Sophia today and she was able to play with it quietly for an hour this afternoon. I will take it and ask Sharon to give it to Sophia to use during nap time. (Unfortunately, having Sophia play in the basement--further away from the other children--is not an option. I asked.)

Sleep deprivation

It is not surprising to me that Sophia has tantrums and is often cranky. She is sleep-deprived. There is no doubt in my mind. This ParentCenter article says it clearly: How much sleep does your child need? I'm planning to give a copy of this article to Sharon along with this note:

Sophia has to be up between 6:45 and 7:00 a.m.; therefore, she needs to be asleep by 8:45 or 9:00 p.m. in order to get the bare minimum of 10 hours of sleep at night. We believe that Sophia has outgrown napping. If she naps for just 10 or 15 minutes, she will not fall asleep until close to 10:00 p.m. (even though we consistently put her in bed at 8:00 p.m.), depriving her of at least one hour of sleep. If she actually needs 11 hours of sleep at night, then she is effectively short two hours of sleep every day that she naps resulting in a very irritable child (and irritable family too).

This has consumed me today. I am beyond frustrated. I feel like I'd do anything to keep Sophia from napping, just short of actually removing Sophia from Sharon's childcare. I'm not happy about this. This has been going on for more than a year! I've talked to Sharon about it several times. I will go out and buy a TV/VCR for Sharon's basement and keep her supplied with Arthur videos if that's what it takes. But I shouldn't have to do that, should I?

This angers me on so many levels. For a year, we've had a cranky, sleep-deprived child. There are times when we can't stand being around her. It hurts me to say that because I love her so much. We have lost all of that time--good quality time--with her and we can't get it back. She screams and cries and we scream back because we can't take it. We don't know what else to do.

I estimate I've wasted at least 300 hours in the past year trying to get Sophia to go to sleep on days when she's had a nap. Can you imagine all of the things I could do with 300 hours? I can. I could get more sleep myself for one thing. I'm also sleep-deprived. Big time. It's truly amazing that I haven't had any traffic accidents in the past year.

Our challenge

Three forty-five this morning, Sophia screams something. I go to see what she wants, but can't understand most of her screaming. I do understand "go away!" so I leave. Then Sophia turns her light on. She wants to look at something. I decide there's no way she's having her light on in the middle of the night. Major tantrum. She kicks me. I confiscate her new Sponge Bob stickers that she wants to look at. Tantrum gets worse. All she has to do to get the stickers back is stop screaming and lay in her bed with the light off. She refuses and continues screaming for another 30 minutes.

Monday morning, Sophia refuses to take off her nightgown and put on her clothes. All threats are fruitless. Tantrum in progress. Both Neil and I together cannot wrestle her into her clothes. I hand down the punishment. No TV for the rest of the day (at our house). Period. Still a struggle to get her clothes on and I have to take a very unhappy girl to the babysitter. (She did not get to watch any TV/videos at home that day.)

Sunday evening, Madeline asks for crackers shortly before bed. Neil gives her two. Sophia wants some too, but she wants more. Neil gives her three. Sophia wants four. We draw the line at three. Tantrum begins. I negotiate four crackers for complete and immediate cooperation with getting her nightgown on. It worked...for one second. Now she wants four crackers (still hasn't taken a single bite) AND a marshmallow. No dice. We don't want the tantrum to keep her awake for another hour though, so we negotiate. Give two crackers back and you get one marshmallow. It worked...for one second. Now she wants two crackers and TWO marshmallows. Absolutely not. Huge tantrum.

That was just within 56 hours or so. I didn't even describe all of the other smaller tantrums that occurred within that timeframe.

So this is our challenge. It's difficult for all of us.

(Oh yes, Neil is picking Sophia up from Sharon's at 12:45 p.m.--changed his plans--just so that she won't be able to have a nap today. She didn't go to sleep until 10 p.m. last night, and 9:45 p.m. the night before.

Update: I arrived late to work, heart racing, from having to discuss this napping business at length with Sharon again. I hope that Neil picking up Sophia at midday will send a pretty strong message that we can't stand it anymore. I guess this is our other challenge.)

Our little critters

After bath today...

Madeline's curly locks...
It's starting to look like Madeline will have hair like mine. I hope she will like her curls. It took me a long time to appreciate mine. People always say they love my curls, but it's frustrating when all of the most up-to-date styles are straight! It won't surprise me if Madeline is a little envious of Sophia's straight hair someday.

Culinary artist

A culinary artist gave a demonstration for the preschool class on Friday morning. It was neat to watch him work. He made flowers with strawberries, grapes, radishes, orange peel, tomato peel, mushrooms, and onions. He made mice with strawberries, and a swan with two apples. He also carved a picture of flowers and a bird on a watermelon, which only took him about 15 minutes from start to finish.

The children watched intently and were very well-behaved, especially Bronwyn and Sophia. I was amazed! They were so cute holding hands as they watched the demonstration!

My Saturday

My spa morning was wonderful! My fingernails and toenails are painted with a very shimmery brown colour. It's so rare for me to wear nail polish, so it seems like my hands and feet don't belong to me! They look great though. The massage was excellent too. I just had a 30-minute massage on my back and shoulders. The therapist confirmed that my shoulders were very tense and tight, and she said I could really benefit from a lot more massage. She suggested I see my doctor to get a note for massage therapy so that I can get it covered through my work health benefits. Perhaps.

The stamping party was fun too. We did three projects that were really quite complicated. They turned out beautifully. I wish I could think of things like this--but then I wouldn't have time to actually make them. (Click the image to enlarge.)

It figures

Do you ever feel like you're going to spontaneously combust from anger and frustration? I do. This morning, for example. Sophia and Madeline woke up at 5:30 and wouldn't go back to sleep--TWO HOURS earlier than I wanted them to get up.

At least Madeline went back to sleep an hour and a quarter later, but Sophia didn't. Well, she claims she slept for "two minutes"--probably because I said I wouldn't want to take her to preschool today if she didn't go back to sleep. (Of course we have to go because I'm the parent helper today.)

As a result, Neil and I were both awake from 5:30 on as well. I was planning to sleep in until 6:15 today because I stayed up a little later than usual. So much for that. Sophia's going to be totally exhausted today too and will undoubtedly have a nap at Sharon's. Lovely.

My nerd score

This means I'm "not nerdy, but definitely not hip." -- 73% scored higher (more nerdy), and 27% scored lower (less nerdy)

And Neil's score is...

Well, it's a good thing I'm not really a nerd!

Time for happy stuff

Well, I don't know about you, but I'm getting tired of all of this depressing stuff...so, on to this week's happy happenings.

On Saturday evening, Neil and I tried a newish restaurant called Mojo (the girls went to Laurel's). It was awesome! The service was great, and the food was even better. I actually keep thinking about how scrumptious my dinner was. I had Chicken Roulade with Cointreau-infused Vegetables and Wild Mushroom Risotto. It was fantastic!

The whole weekend was pretty good actually. It was quite relaxing as we didn't have any other commitments. I accomplished quite a bit of decluttering in my laundry/craft room and I always feel good about making progress on tasks that are long overdue. Today, Neil hauled a bunch of stuff to Value Village and to eWasteCanada (a scanner, modem, TV, and four printers--two from the farm). BTW, this is a great way to get rid of your old electronics!

This coming weekend will be very busy, but fun. Friday morning, I'm going to be the parent helper at the preschool and a "Culinary Artist" is going to be there. I have no idea what that means, but I'm looking forward to finding out.

I am really looking forward to Saturday! I have booked my manicure, pedicure, and massage for Saturday morning and then in the afternoon, I'm going to a Stampin' Up! party at a friend's house. It's so great that Neil is fine with me taking practically the whole day just for me.

Sunday will be crazy. We're going to a birthday party for our friends' 4-year old from 1 to 3, another birthday party for the girls' 6-year old cousin from 3 to 5, and somehow, I'd like to attend my clothing club party that starts at 2 pm. I'm not sure yet what the logistics of all that will be--especially with Madeline needing a nap in the afternoon--but I'll figure it out.

Bombarded

I feel like I've been bombarded with negativity, bad news, and just crappy stuff lately:

• work (as you know, and it's not just that I don't like it; it seems like everyone is in a bad mood lately, plus I'm responding to very unhappy customers)
• preschool (I had to help make the decision to fire a teacher, and our prospective new teacher didn't show up for her trial class last Friday)
• volleyball (some players are frustrated that other players aren't trying or improving)
• farming (we received a big cheque from CAIS but it barely made a dent in the overall current farm debt [added: what I meant is the short-term debt that is basically due right now] and so I have to keep paying bills out of the operating loan; can I quit the farm? because I'd really like to quit 'farming' right now; seriously)
• Neil's grandma's health (she broke her hip and femur last week and had surgery yesterday)
• my aunt's health (out of hospital, but recovery is slow)
• my brother's health and stressful work situation (I worry about him)
• the accidental death of my volleyball teammate's dad

I'm sure I could think of even more. And I know I have much to be thankful for and none of this is really so terrible for me or my immediate family--we're all healthy and I have a job that pays well and we live comfortably enough. Nevertheless, all of this is wearing me down. I'm trying really hard not to be outwardly bitchy, but I can't seem to help feeling sour.

Office humour

This is from a Dilbert comic strip published on December 14, 2002; a copy is posted outside the office of one of my coworkers...

Boss: Dilbert, I want you to write a letter to our new customer. I'll tell you what to say, then you'll go write it and I'll sign it. This way I won't waste my valuable executive time. It's efficient.

Dilbert: Yes, that's one possible outcome. Here's another.You'll keep forgetting to mention important things that should be in the letter. I'll be trapped in an endless loop of writing, tracking you down, getting criticized and starting over. Or, you could simply write the letter yourself and save us both a huge hassle.

Boss: In paragraph one, say something like "Hi."

This isn't exactly my situation, but let's just say that I strongly identify with Dilbert in this case. (And for the record, I really like and respect the managers with whom I work to finalize letters; I just don't care for this aspect of my job.)

Work bites

I'm feeling out of sorts. Work is just so BAD right now. We were supposed to learn the decision about our manager yesterday, but we haven't heard anything yet. I just keep thinking...where did the job I-used-to-love go? ...why did I get stuck with all of this crap? I'm not enjoying this one bit. And even if a new manager starts in two weeks, I'm sure it'll be a long time before they can take over this corporate affairs stuff I'm doing. I just want to do web stuff. I don't want to search endlessly for an acceptable substitute for the word "hope" (there isn't one; trust me).

I was scheduled to work tomorrow, but I can't stand the thought of spending another whole day there this week, so I'm taking the afternoon off. Sharon's not working tomorrow either, so the girls (including Bronwyn) will be home too. I really wish I could spend the afternoon alone, to be honest, but that's not in the cards. (Hmmm, I should make an appointment for next Friday to have my four-hour spa treatment that Neil gave me in November!)

It's been a frustrating week at home too because Sophia has napped every day, and by the time she goes to sleep in the evening, we're all very tired and cranky around here --especially me. I think it's worse when I'm unhappy at work because then I'm even more desperate to be able to do something, anything, that I want to do--and I don't mean doing dishes or cleaning the house.

The good thing this week was that I received my stamps from my Stampin' Up! party. Actually, that was very exciting for me. I purchased two stamp sets and got nine for free! I've spent quite a bit of my spare time this week (i.e., staying up too late) putting the stamps together, and this morning before work, I quickly stamped hearts and "hugs" on little Valentine's notes for the girls to give to their friends at the daycare. Could I please get paid for doing stuff like this? Pretty pleeeease...

A few observations

On the front of the Leader-Post on Friday (Feb 4), this headline appeared (below the fold): Sask. Party wants to win. What a shocking newsflash! Has there ever been a political party that did not want to win? Please. They should really think twice before printing dumb headlines like that. I recall there was another headline just like that in the fall, and I wish I could remember what it was. Mind you, there may be non-news headlines like that all of the time and I wouldn't know it because I rarely read the paper. (I only read whatever headlines happen to catch my eye as the paper lays on a table or chair waiting to be read or recycled.)

Another thing I find perplexing is why anyone--aside from those who reside in close proximity to the playing teams--would care one speck about the Superbowl. Last week, a couple of my volleyball teammates were talking about who they thought would win. It just seemed very bizarre to me. Then, of course, there were people at work talking about it this morning. Why would anyone (especially people who live this far from those teams) waste a nanosecond of time or brainpower thinking about this? Well, I guess I've wasted some time and brainpower of my own on this particular thought!!! Anyhow, I just don't get it. If anyone can shed some light on this for me, please do!

That leads me to think of the immense diversity of interests we human beings have. It's interesting to think of how some people may be passionate about something, while others have absolutely no interest in that thing; in fact, they may not even be able to comprehend why anyone would be interested in that particular thing. I'm sure there are many people who cannot understand my desire to pore over scrapbooking magazines for hours on end.

RSO, Cards & Sophia

We enjoyed the RSO (and guest artist Jennifer Lim on piano) yesterday morning but decided to leave at the intermission. Madeline just couldn't contain her happy squealing and chatter, and Sophia fell asleep on my lap (I think because she got up at 6:00 am and was fighting a cold; plus the soothing music and dim lighting kind of made me feel sleepy too). It was a nice way to introduce this type of activity anyway--for free and for a short period of time.

I went to a card-making class at Michael's today. Unfortunately, when I registered for the class, the cashier failed to tell me that the class time had been changed to begin an hour earlier than scheduled. As a result, I was only in the class for 30 minutes instead of 90 minutes. I was able to do a few things in class (the things I can't do at home) and I got to take the materials home to finish the cards. Luckily, the instructor had scanned her finished cards and brought a printout to class, so she gave it to me for reference.

Sophia finally went to sleep at 8:50 pm. It seems she just doesn't require a whole lot of sleep. I wish she would sleep more--and go to sleep on her own! She was up at 7:00 am and didn't have a nap today. Oh well. Speaking of bedtime, Sophia isn't wearing pull-ups anymore! We just stopped using them the week of her 4th birthday. She's had a few accidents, but I don't think she'll have too many more.

This weekend

Well, the interview today was interesting (and Sophia had a great time playing at the indoor playground where we held the interview). We interviewed this singer/songwriter whose number one priority is her music career, but who also has the experience and qualities the preschool is looking for. She appeared genuinely interested in teaching young children, which is great, but she made it quite clear that she may only be available for a short time (depending on her music career). Nevertheless, her enthusiasm, confidence, and knowledge seemed to outweigh that detail. A very interesting person indeed. She was very lively and animated during the interview, and her style--shabby chic, I'd say. She exuded creativity, and appeared to be a good fit for the school since we need someone to round out the fine arts program with lessons in theatre and music. (Whoa. That sounds odd coming from me since I have a business degree and no background whatsoever in music or anything to do with the arts!)

I spent about four hours doing preschool work today, but yet it seemed very relaxing relative to the past few days. I think that's because I wasn't squeezing it in...before work, on my breaks, at lunch time, and after work. Also, this day has been wonderful because we don't have any big plans this weekend. There was nothing that I absolutely had to do today to prepare for something, or because there would be no other time to do it. I don't feel as tense as usual right now. Plus, I'm looking forward to doing something I enjoy for the next hour or two--looking at my new Simple Scrapbooks magazine and watching What Not to Wear and Clean Sweep on TLC. Yes!

Oooh, also, we're going to see a dress rehearsal of the Regina Symphany Orchestra performing the complete 'Midwinter Serenade' tomorrow morning! It's free for SaskTel employees and I get to take my whole family for free. Also, with donations for the Under Five Toy Drive, we get free breakfast during intermission. We've got our toys ready to go and I think it's going to be fun! I'm sure the girls will enjoy it too. And, if something happens and we have to exit for some reason, we didn't have to pay for it! (except for the toys, but that's for a good cause anyway). The morning is perfect too because that's when the girls are happiest, so I'm not anticipating any too many problems. Sophia's looking forward to giving away the toys (she wants to give them to children, so I had to explain that the children who need the toys won't be there) and she's got her dress picked out for the occasion. I think she'll really be interested because one of her favourite books was The Remarkable Farkle McBride, in which Farkle learns to play every instrument and then ends up conducting the orchestra. I highly recommend this book (I mentioned it last April too).

Madeline news

Poor Madeline has been sick since Friday. She had a fever for at least three days, but seems to be over that now. The other main symptom is a cough--almost like croup, but not quite. As a result, she hasn't been sleeping well either. We've had a few really bad nights.

She mostly has a runny nose now, but doesn't appear to have an infection, so that's good. We kept Madeline at home with Neil on Monday and Tuesday. I might have taken her to Sharon's today, except Sharon was sick today with an ear infection. So, Neil stayed home again with the girls, including Bronwyn. (Sharon is working tomorrow and Neil needs to go to the farm, so I'm planning to take both girls.)
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Another thing I wanted to mention is that Madeline can count to ten! I'm really amazed by it! She knows every number from one to ten (and we think possibly up to thirteen) and rarely makes a mistake when reciting those numbers.

Also, Madeline's favourite book right now is Moo, Baa, La La La! by Sandra Boynton. It really is a cute little book. I love it when Madeline takes a book to bed with her and then the very second you turn out the light in her room, she says "Done!" and holds the book out for you to take. She's been doing that for awhile actually.